12:09 a.m. - June 19, 2002
I'm off
In a few hours I'm leaving and perhaps there I will settle into a niche and be content for a while.
It's disconcerting, this conflict between how I view myself and how others perceive my skills. I wouldn't have dreamed of applying for the position had not my advisor brought it up and hounded me until I did the application--again, last minute, and neither would I have thought the university would select me out of the pool. I don't even have my Ph.D. in hand yet and still, the university selected me over others more talented and the way events have fallen into place reaffirms my faith--even if I'd rather not look at it directly.
So I'm heading off. It's a new city, a new university, a new job, a new office with my name on the door, a new set of colleagues and students and syllabi.
Yup. Not necessarily a new beginning but perhaps more of a new direction and who knows where this will lead. Maybe I'll learn how to settle down instead of looking for something better, the way I'm doing even now. Washington, D.C. is not Seattle and I still have one more interview there. If offered that position as well, I'll be a Husky. For now, though, I'm a Bulldog.
I'll write more later.
Wish me well.
