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9:09 p.m. - November 21, 2002
Tired off to bed no socks
Headache.

Weekly teleconference with Barbara-the-Editor went well and the pressure I resist yet crave sometimes a challenge like a surfer aiming for the patch beyond the initial swell with nascent waves for the white-water action. Talk of deadlines proofreaders copy editors shooting print runs illustrations photos a biographical sketch for the web site and back cover, Am I sure I don't want an author's photo? Yes, I'm sure but she won't listen. She's doing her job, I'm doing mine.

But I'm going to bed soon.

Having trouble sleeping again though last night this morning at 3:15 lay there, refusing to get up take a walk take a shower read work write file dust mop launder make toast, turned over and went back to sleep. Not much of a milestone but it's a pebble at least.

Any sleep experts out there masquerading as journal writers and readers? Neither therapist or myself have any clue about my wake-times; generally between 3:00 a.m. and 3:30, almost always at 3:13. Every day. And I cannot go back to sleep afterwards. Sometimes scared, sometimes not; sometimes remember dreams, sometimes not; sometimes panicky and anxious and breathing irregularly, other times not; always tired.

Headache deep within grayish pink cottage chesse brain.

 

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