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9:05 a.m. - March 18, 2004 A is for absolute. B is for boring. So boring that my keychain is merely a round ring with keys. No personality. C is for cock. My nose smashed against pubes = heaven. D is for Daniel Boone. He was a hero during my I-have-a-hero-from-American-history phase. E is for Everybody Out of the Pool. I dislike swimming with strangers. Can�t trust them not to pee. F is for foolish. I do dumb things like walk into doors with distressing regularity. G is for gay. If I wasn�t me, I�d be a twink. The horror. H is for home improvement overestimation. My bathroom project is still on hiatus. I is for impatient. I can�t stand dumb people but they�re too entertaining to give up. J is for Jehovah�s Witnesses. I like reading their magazines and asking why they keep changing the date for Armageddon. K is for killjoy. A conversation with me quickly veers to the serious, the mundane, the search for an exit. L is for life insurance. Everybody should have it. M is for misanthrope. I don�t want to be one but this condition may be like Michael Jackson denying he wants to be white: Everybody knows he is. N is for noisome. It�s a favorite word. O is for opera. Strong aversion. Does this mean I�m uncultured? P is for post-traumatic stress disorder. Everybody�s traumatized, everybody�s diagnosed with something. Calling Ricki Lake. Q is for quibble. I�m fascinated by the things people fight over, that loss of self-control when passions and old hurts fly. I�d like to let loose like that. R is for residue. Soap scum is particularly noxious to me. S is for Save My Own Skin. I�d like to think I possess noble, self-sacrificial traits, but I cover my ass first. T is for touch. Of all the things I want, this is first on the list. To touch and be touched, and not worry, just enjoy. U is for uptight. That�s a given. V is for VW Bug. Have never ridden in one, either the classic or contemporary models. W is for When I Grow Up, I want to try skydiving. X is for Xanthippe. Go look it up. Y is for You�re A Nice Guy, Jason. Just like Charlie Brown, and look how he�s turned out. Z is for zit. Why is it in gay porn they don�t cover up zits on a guy�s ass? I fixate on these things and find my viewing pleasure substantially hampered.
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