2:32 p.m. - August 29, 2004
Lately there's been a string of former students appearing from beyond and with each there is the lingering thought, Why not go back? to teaching ASL and English, or French or German. Thinking about returning to a job I love and consider my birthright and destiny, my heart beats and I quickly envision department meetings, serving as mentor, and designing cheat-proof tests, all with the goal of teaching material they will keep with them for life and will hopefully have some impact. And then as quickly, I recall Daniel, the gay Mormon student, and the overwhelming failure comes back. Does failing one outweigh the successes of others?
It is ingrained: What happened to him was my fault.
I'm a damn good teacher, whether it's high school or university. I can repeat that until it's a mindless series of syllables but still, still, I wouldn't believe it.
Stubborn that way.