10:25 p.m. - April 06, 2006
Notes from Zion: Part I
Ah, the things my Mormon friends never told me about Utah that I find interesting:
(1) There are two types of people: The beautiful and the very ugly.
(2) Jell-O comes in two types: Regular and irregular, with the latter featuring slices of kiwi, banana, and walnuts.
(3) BYU is for the smart churchy kids, and Utah Valley State College is for the dumb heathens, but on each there is an LDS Institute of Religion.
(4) Utahn multiculturalism evidently is limited to white saints and Mexican restaurant servers.
(5) I am in flaming gay boy heaven or hell, take your pick. I'm astounded by the number of flaming queens in this hetero country, easily on par with San Francisco.
(6) Utahns dislike mention of polygamy in the media: I passed by a CNN monitor featuring Wolf Blitzer saying An in-depth look at polygamy: What goes on in Utah? and it was like someone pressed a mute button as everybody simultaneously looked at the screen, shook their heads, and remained silent.
(7) The self-righteous among us declaim self-righteousness but remind us to respect the spiritual flavor of the campus, then return 15 minutes later reeking of nicotine.
(8) Gay.com is blocked, so no chat, but Global Male Pass is not, so visual stimulation is allowed. (Um, yeah. I'm filthy and nasty, what can I say?)
The people are interesting; the group that took me out to eat brought me to a buffet place called Golden Corral, which seems to be haute cuisine here. One woman apologized that alcohol is served only in fine dining establishments or in private clubs - and she was suprised when I mentioned that I don't really drink. It's amusing to have my own self-righteousness mirrored back at me, I must admit. These well-meaning Mormons look down on me simply because I am not Mormon and their assumption seems to be black and white: With us or against us (or don't know about us, so let us tell you about us), and if you're not Mormon you're A Bad Person. But this attitude is presented (shielded?) with smiles and uber-politeness, an unhuman shellac that bothers me. Do Mormons ever let down their guard or are they always "on"?
I have several days to investigate.
But damn these people are beautiful.
