9:43 p.m. - August 13, 2006
Oh happy day?
A good weekend spent with Mr. Haagen-Dazs and a book, marred only by fruitless calls to iPod tech support. I have killed my beloved iPod and resetting, resetting, and resetting to factory originals with the latest software yields nothing more further aggravation. Help?
I’m a fan of campaigns modeled after The Seven Effective Habits of Perfect People, The Surefire Way to A Better Life, and From Housebound to Party Animal. The latest endeavor is an attempt to be more social and is neatly divided into two functions: Interactions with people and Interactions with the community. Goal? To get myself out of the house more often, to talk to people about something other than work more often, to – I’m not sure what. But a conscious attempt at something has got to be better than endless ruminations on what is the sorry fact of my third decade on earth: I am even more removed from others than I ever have been before, a reverse trajectory that is headed nowhere good.
So tomorrow I’m doing something new, I think: I’m donating blood. And that, as my one reader may know, presents a problem since guys who sleep with other guys are barred from donating on the grounds that doing so may taint the nation’s blood supply. Never mind the fact that there are (surely) more straight nasty people donating and their blood is welcomed – even begged for. I was asked to donate by someone I work with who sees me as squeaky clean and I said yes before I thought about it.
But here’s a confession: I’ve never given blood. I don’t know my blood type. And – I’ve never had an HIV test. I suppose part of my reticence was that I’m-not-like-them attitude and beyond that, a combination of fear and removal from venues where testing is routine. Maybe I’ll make getting an HIV test my next event.
I’m going ahead with the appointment tomorrow with the Red Cross. Do they go into detail when asking about your sexual history? What is my sexual history?
1. Brittany, 15-16
2. Miri, 15-16
3. Charlotte, 16
4. Patricia, 16
5. Tasha, 17-21
6. Dana, 23-26
7. Ken, 26-28
8. Cameron, 28
9. Ryan I, 28
10. Ryan II, 28
11. Alex, 29
Somewhere in there falls Stanley, the sucked-him-off-in-my-Jeep-in-a-parking-lot guy. I think I’m forgetting someone. So that’s my sexual history as an adult. Evenly divided, 50-50 between women and men, but in terms of numbers of encounters the division is still strongly skewed towards women. It is unlikely this will change beyond the rare deviations from my I’m-happy-being-celibate shtick but I don’t think getting head should count anyways, and my days as a cocksucker ended around Ryan II when I discovered a) I’m not crazy about doing it and b) other guys like giving me head.
I feel pretty nasty now.
Just remembered Kevin, from the weekend I went to the gay Christian conference. Damn it – now it’s 60-40, in favor of men.
In two weeks my travels begin again – I don’t feel ready but hiding out and avoiding things is generally ineffective beyond the first week or two. Some of the places I’m going to this fall:
Washington, DC (twice)
Dallas (twice)
Baltimore (three times)
Alabama
Kansas City
Tampa
Memphis
Seattle
Connecticut
Kentucky
Portland
New York (Long Island)
San Diego
Austin
Boca Raton
When oh when will the folks in places like Alaska or Hawaii book me??!!
Have a good day!
