2:31 p.m. - December 15, 2003
Principals: Jason, store clerk
Jason: Hi, I'd like to get a new battery for my watch, but I'm unsure what type of battery I need. Can you help me?
Clerk: Almost all batteries are the same. (Points toward battery rack, stage left, cranes neck around Jason, seeking new customers in an empty shop, clearly hassled and bored.)
Jason: Oh, okay. (Scuttles over to battery rack, selects packet, returns to Clerk.) I don't know how to open the watch back. Is there some trick to it? (Hands over watch.)
Clerk: This is a Swiss Army. Don't you know they don't take batteries? All you have to do is wind the knob like this (Demonstrates winding technique) and it's not difficult to do.
Jason: Oh, I didn't know that. (Blushes furiously) Thanks for your help.
Clerk: That'll be $4.95.
Clerk: We have a policy. (Points nowhere specific.)
Clerk: (Exasperated.) Never mind. I'm being generous today. You can go.
Jason: (muttering under breath) Fuck the season, fuck watches that don't take batteries, fuck oafs who work in watch shops hating life and customers.