4:48 p.m. - June 30, 2003
What she does is remind me of myself and that is so damn unpleasant I'm becoming daily more sensitized to the fact that I must be one hell of a jerk. Below 90%? Me? Never and I will fight for those points to bump myself up to at least 95. An elitist? Me. A snob? Me. Unliked? Me. Me. Me. Me. But I cannot be as bad as she; I don't talk about how good Stanford is (especially now when I never mention the name) and how second-class, back of the bus, last one off the Titanic every other institution is across the country, even here (and for the objective record, this school far outranks measly U of Michigan). I think she's like that because unfortunately, she's not what one would consider attractive, or nice-faced; she's downright homely in the she-must-have-a-great-personality mea culpa but that basic premise or catch-all exculpation doesn't hold up to the light. Please, please, turn off the lights is more like it and similar to others in her shoes, she wears a lot of makeup in the vain attempt to somehow shield the rest of her face. I don't like makeup. On women. Or me. Of course, the only experience I have with makeup on me comes from an aunt who'd leave lipstick on my cheek and is likely a substantial influence on my no-hugging and certainly no-kissing, and secondarily, the makeup experience from the TV thing but a little powder and a little de-shine-the-forehead thing and something else - foundation? whatever it is, it's my skin color - never hurt me, especially when I'm looking for dates or good head and getting the head portion.
What the hell am I talking about?
Anyway, Miss U. of M. annoys me and she's ugly. Big grin. :-]
I'm so funny.
I'm in a good mood for no apparent reason. Why should I be shocked? Speaking of shocked, I forgot to do a bit of paperwork and my paycheck is held up until tomorrow because I didn't do the Exemption form. Let's see, what else is there? Oh, my T.A.'s - the Squirrely One and the Boring Canadian - are doing well though performing far under potential. Do you have any ideas for assignments I can throw to them? I have the Boring Canadian checking and double-checking references and compiling a bibliography for the not-yet-contracted-yet-being-written-book, the one Barbara-the-Editor wants badly, though of course only if it follows Books One and Two because this one is my pet joy and nothing more yet something worthwhile and potentially enriching in the minor sense.
My computer at home is down and there is absolutely nothing to do there sans my little notebook. I mean, I've gotten so attuned to jacking off while looking at pictures that I've amputated my imagination. That is really sad. And, worst of worses, all your phone numbers are on it. Woe, woe, woe is me not only because I'm incommunicado, but also because I've no porn.