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8:14 a.m. - February 27, 2003
Thursday to do, to write, to be in a good mood and this isn't bipolar or manic, simply the way it's supposed to be
A wonderful start to a Thursday – my all-day assignment canceled so I still get paid – and I had just enough milk for my bowl of cereal. Today I will be conscientious and write, look out the window only at scheduled breaks, turn on the heat because I am freezing. Productive is the word of the day.

Last night woke up at 3:14 and I was wide awake, dreaming of a man standing outside my window and I admit, my heart raced but this time, unlike all the others, I lay there and made myself look at the window – see, no one there – and I went back to sleep. How satisfying it is to sleep, to have the alarm clock wake me at 6:00. I’m thinking about covering the window in my room – I have no window coverings at all because I have an aversion to suspecting someone’s on the other side but I can’t see out, so I leave everything uncovered (I guess this is odd?). I’d like a covering – blinds, not drapes though – because damn! when you want to sleep and the sun is on your face, it is hard to ignore. This makes me happy, very happy.

Must also:

•Obtain hotel room for conference. If you’re going to be in Indianapolis April 10 – 13, wanna share a room? Pricey, but luxurious, apparently. Planned to share a room with a colleague who backed out – fie on pregnant wives who can't be left at home! – and I don’t know anybody else well enough to bunk with. Maybe this is a growth opportunity.

•Order book: Leather-bound edition of The Atlas of Middle Earth and please, no comments. Hundreds of maps, diagrams, genealogies, the entire mythopoesis and I want it.

•Redeem gift certificates that expires at the end of March at the nemesis of individuality, Pottery Barn. Two separate cards, $50.00 each, that cannot be combined and that I haven’t used since Christmas of 2001. I despise Pottery Barn and cannot think of anything to procure that doesn’t make me grimace. Recommend something, if you can.

•Call Barbara-the-Editor for our weekly chat that’s becoming more like a loan shark shake-down. Up ahead: Midnight calls from Juan saying quickly, If you don’t hand over that book we’re going to chop off your hands

•And then, the last thing I need but do, since I’m gaining weight: Some things from Eddie Bauer. Ah, I love that store. Were I rich and stupid I’d have my closet designed just like one of their stores; it would work, too, because most of my clothing is from EB. Heh. Must get out more often.

•Speaking of getting out, I will borrow the next door neighbor’s dog and go for a long walk.

Be good and send me emails, I want to talk to people! Send to: sangchaud [at] [aol][dot][com].

I’m in a great mood. It has been a long time, a very long time.

 

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