Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

12:41 p.m. - December 12, 2002
Another survey, useless and lacking merit
A survey to kill time, waiting for Barbara-the-Editor to call.

1. Who is the person you'd least like to touch?

The man whose job is to descend into the sewers and de-muck the muck when clogged.

2. What is the poorest you've ever been?

My freshman year in college when my savings were depleted, financial aid hadn't decided whether I qualified for assistance and I was stuck; my long-distance was cut because I couldn't afford the bill (it was $12.00 or so).

3. What in the world would you most like to see protected?

If by protected one means left alone, then I'd protect what's left of the world's wilderness, including the poles. If by protected one means safeguarded, I would say the world's indigenous languages. Our languages make us different and through difference we self-examine; hundreds of languages are nearly extinct and the bells toll the end of thousands more within our lifetimes.

4. What is the strongest profanity you use?

Hmmm. Cunt. Don't use it often because I enjoy the company of women.

5. Who is the dumbest person you ever dated more than once?

I wouldn't formalize my stress relief/ego aggrandizement by calling it dating, but Patricia the stalker is by far the dumbest individual I've dated. My biggest turn on is smart women and I'm too smart to waste my time on those who are dumb, so I have little experience in this category.

6. How do you flirt best?

I don't. Hate to say I'm too shy to flirt, but it's true; I just don't. I'm the guy who blushes and looks away when you look at him.

7. What is the most difficult thing about being married?

I'm not nor have been and from my current vantage point, feel confident enough to state that it's likely I never will be.

8. What is the most useful article of clothing you've ever owned?

Who comes up with these questions? I'd like to say it was the windbreaker with which I staved off death for me and my traveling party caught in a sudden windstorm while hiking in the wilds of Alaska, but that never happened. You know me: I would have taken that jacket and said Hasta! Being the realist, I must reply: My shoes. Duh.

9. What would be the worst thing to be reincarnated as, aside from a human being?

A cow in one of McDonald's herds.

10. What is the largest amount of money you ever made in one day?

A lot of none of your business.

11. What was the greatest number of times you had sex in a single day?

Oooh. That one day where it was all-day, one-way blowjobs. Didn't count but let me tell you, I was emptied out. Dry. And there's a lot of juice to be expended.

12. Are you for or against scents?

All the trappings of a trick question. I'm for scents, from my deoderant (Right Guard, Cool Peak) to other toiletries, but I'm not a fan of daily cologne. I'm against scents emanating from other bodies. Why does that phrase sound a little off? I'm bothered by those who announce their presence by acrid wafts of cheap eau de toilette from Tar-zhay long before they are physically present. Like those on BART, my former high school wanna-be studs, cheap ho's and cholo gang-bangers.

13. Are you ticklish? Where?

Yes, am ticklish. Bottoms of feet, another secret spot.

14. In what period of history would you have least liked to live? Most liked to live?

(a) The 1960s. Can you imagine me groovin'? Neither can I.

(b) The Medieval Ages.

15. Time to go. She's late. Grrr.

 

previous - next

 

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!