10:08 p.m. - April 09, 2002
Throw away the key
Spec sent me flight information so I guess he's coming to see me not this weekend but the next. I do miss his ass, double meaning and all. Might go camping again closer to home though he's bugging me to let him stay at my house and says I'll Be Cool With Your Sister but that's not the concern--it's will _I_ be cool and I know the answer to that one already so it's camping or a cardboard box.
I don't let people sleep over easily so may the reservation desk at the nearby Hilton be helpful should you want to visit me. People have occasionally remarked on my utter lack of hospitality and it is true, I once prevented a colleague from using my bathroom and yes, when someone says I'll Drop By I say No you won't and I'll meet you there. Sad, but true. I'm comfortable with sitting on my front lawn or using the bench next to the door but that's as far as it goes most often--unless, I find, you happen to be proselytizing and then I invite you to sit in my kitchen.... close to the door. Trust issues, insecurity reigns but perhaps mostly uncomfortable with people seeing all the locks to each room and the lack of closet doors as if one couldn't discern I'm a little strange off the bat.
I don't understand the locks and today realized they're extraneous and have served their purpose. I'm leaving the front door unlocked tonight and the sliding glass door in my room is open and the air, cool and smelling like damp wood will encourage snuggling and I will like the neighbor's cricket.
