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2:41 a.m. - April 17, 2002
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Maybe I've read the cards upside down all this time and so do things differently. Most people strive for happiness and squeeze the nectar out of what's available and repeat as needed. I don't have a grasp on that and while wanting to avoid drama wonder if I'm losing a grasp on whatever I have successfully grasped. I just won't let myself be happy--not even sure I would recognize, let alone accept, happiness. Or, maybe, I am but fail to recognize it?

Lonely. Sad. Thinking about Bathsheba and what is this? An email from her. I like when that kind of thing happens.

Tired but not tired enough to sleep and I'm tempted to pluck hairs until I wake up tomorrow.

 

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