9:05 p.m. - June 25, 2002
Damn this lonely thing!
In front of a classroom I'm a different person entirely. I crack jokes that make people laugh, I'm engaging and witty and banter with students who like to make others laugh--and I turn the tables and poke fun in a non-threatening, non-self-esteem-damaging, non-report-to-the-dean way. I feel confident and assured only when I'm there in front; how odd and sad is that?
The minute I exit the classroom I swim in incompetence and self-doubt.
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The erase key is a terrible amenity.
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A quiet night on this humid day. It's almost 10 p.m. and it's 89 degrees out, though from the heat I wonder if the gauge attached to the window is impaired because it seems warmer than 89.
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Things I like:
::Seeing people sit on their porches when the air begins to cool, talking quietly.
::The metro stations' ceilings. I gaze at them each chance I can.
::The smell of morning humidity.
::The fireflies!
::The sound of my footsteps when I walk to my building in the morning.
Things I don't like:
::Maryland is like living in a park. Where are the birds and chipmunks?
::Students who stand outside the doors and smoke right before coming in, despite the signage. Smoking must impair literacy and comprehension.
::The smell of DC. Can't describe it other than it smells like a locker room. Not surprising given the climate and constant sweating.
::The local grocery store chain, Weis. It's like Longs Drugs with old vegetables, and my only convenient option. Speaking of veggies, they sell lettuce here by the pound instead of the head; $1.98 per pound is a lot when one tiny bunch of green lettuce is 2 pounds, easy.
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People. I want people. I need people!
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Niagra Falls is 8 hours away. Guess what I might do this weekend?
