11:03 p.m. - July 30, 2002
This is the good scent from afar
Tonight I connected with someone in a way that's eluded me, always taunting, teasing, making me think such connection was only for those Who Have It All Together.
Marti and I spent the past 4 and a half hours over dinner talking about movies and books and childhoods and the more we said the more we talked, the more we talked, the more we opened up. She's a fantastic lady and the connection is there, and it's real. Never had an experience like that where something I said sparked comments from her and her sentiments sparked more from me in a cycle of sincerely opening up. We're both fans of horror movies for the same reason, read or are reading the same books, listen to the same music (everything, special emphasis on One Hit Wonders, country, jazz, Eminem), fascinated by the same academic endeavors (curriculum development, language acquisition), both curious about child development... We talked about so much and truly, all I can say is that it felt spectacular and how glad I am that today, when she remarked Let's Have Dinner Before You Leave, I said Let's go tonight even though I half hoped she'd say no. This is what it feels like to be open and not censor thoughts, to let down the guard; there was no disaster or hurt, just good feelings.
This is new; never before, like this.
She's skydived.
She's older than me--31--and educated and makes me laugh and damn it, it just felt good.
Wanted to write this down as a reminder that good things can happen if I make the effort.
Am tired.
To bed I go.
