12:58 p.m. - August 01, 2002
On it being 1:00
It's noon and already am having a day best ignored but its beat takes the form of a song mentally replayed long after hearing it the first time.
Like Enya.
A breakdown; no, not mental, though as an aside, I wonder about such things occasionally. As a middle school student I had a Russian pen pal who wrote about having a mental breakdown, and I could never determine whether it was a matter of language (we wrote in both French and Russian, never English) or if she truly had cracked, but subsequent letters didn't feature rants about straightjackets or delusional drawings, so I didn't think much about it. There are times when I figure I'm due, given how I can barely decide which foot goes into which shoe first in the mornings.
I digress.
This morning I was ready to ride the double-decker train, anticipating the rocking and the view, an exercise in confronting issues; the train that arrived was the standard unilevel. Can you imagine my disappointment? And now, the unilevel train just doesn't do it for me, so really this is a double-whammy because I loved that train.
Then this morning during a lecture on the connections between language and culture, a student asked if such relationships are axiomatic, that is, can there exist a culture without a language, or a language without a culture. The answer is both yes and no and off we went on a vigorous discussion of the type I love best: Informed, eager, interested, challenging. Then a student brought up the "gay culture" and its lack of a language, and I immediately said Yes, that is not a culture but a lifestyle (and thank God I had enough sense not to say 'chosen' lifestyle because then one would think I was commenting on orientation instead of expression of orientation) and the shit hit the floor. Or the fan. Or the ceiling--whichever.
So let me ask you: What would constitute a gay culture? The arts, the transmission of language and a set of shared beliefs, customs, and attitudes from one generation to the next forming an identity and group norms; aside from language, perhaps there is a gay culture, but only because the definition of culture has been watered down by those in the rainbow tower.
Another aside: I didn't say that. I merely facilitated the discussion, and neither did I say that the predominant shared value in the gay community is sex with a certain je ne sais quoi's equivalent being "Pos or neg?" in bathouses or chat rooms. Yikes. That's a bit negative, eh?
So after class I was followed by a gaggle of students who wanted to further discuss the issue because it does provoke consideration, especially on definitions of culture, or, in my opinion, the underlying issue is defining the definitions of culture rather than culture itself, definitions that have been altered and tweaked at will so that frankly, no one has any idea what culture means, much less what it entails or what it once signified. One student, very articulate, postulated that any accomplishment by a gay individual should be labeled evidence of a gay culture, but when did sexual habits become enculterated to the degree that everything foregrounding such accomplishment is directly attributable to sex?
So this is the point: A student lodged a complaint--informally (whew!)--in the office, charging me with insensitivity. I'm going to shit a brick here, folks. Sensitivity should not be subdued by intellectual dishonesty or at best by wishful thinking! Come on here--all I want, and expect, is parity: If you want me to be sensitive, then you be sensitive--but it doesn't work this way. The last insensitivities allowed are towards anything religious (unless it's Islam, and then it's 'misunderstood'), conservatism in any shape, and plain common sense.
It's a dictatorship of the bourgeois, all right.
Heh. And one more lecture to deliver.
On the same topic.
Truly I say to you, happy is he who sows seeds well.
