4:28 p.m. - September 30, 2002
1,001 things. Not really; more like 15
Yes, another survey, simply because I have nothing better to do as I wait for laundry to cycle.
Dispensing with questions and simply providing the answers.
1. Every morning I eat a cold banana. Bananas must be cold and slightly unripe--you know, greenish and firm--or I can't stomach eating one. Can't eat banana and cereal together.
2. Something different that people don't understand about me is my aversion to mattress pads. You know, those white scratchy pads over the mattress and under the fitted sheet? Dislike those. I like feeling the mattress. Don't know why or what this reveals about my personality other than non-chalance about dust mites and other creatures that mattress pads supposedly inhibit.
3. I don't watch much television other than CNN or MSNBC, but am a rabid fan of HBO. Find myself following only one show per year or season; was the Sopranos, but now it's Six Feet Under. Always enjoy Taxicab Confessions late at night; it allows me to see the other side. You know, the living life side as opposed to my own moribund existence. Past favorite shows: Picket Fences, X-Files. Favorite embarrassing show: Family Feud.
4. I rarely dust until I can't stand the sight of everything looking gray.
5. Yeah, I wear cologne, but more often it's after-shave. Strongly believe in deoderant.
6. Rarely use slang. When I hear "chopper" instead of helicopter or "pig" instead of cop, and read "aite" and "coo" on IMs from nasty old men pretending to be 15 year old Britni's, my skin crawls and I wish I had a paddle and the authority to use it. Perhaps my hostility stems from understanding the origin and purpose of slang: To identify members of a particular group and exlude those who by nature of language do not belong. I'm one who doesn't belong. Aite? But, I'm guilty of saying the following: Sup dog [but never dawg] and dude.
7. I don't shop so let me list my least-favorite places. Usually, these are the same ones that send me catalog after catalog which only make me detest them more: Pottery Barn, Williams-Sonoma, The Gap, Banana Republic for Men, Bed, Bath & Beyond. I celebrate EddieBauer.com and Sketchers.com; I suspect these two sell my information to the others. Truly, they push the limits of my loyalty.
8. When it comes to sex, the more the better; the louder, the better; the longer, the better; the kinkier the better. You know what they say about still waters running deep. Or Scorpios for that matter. Kink is good, but don't invite inanimate objects to join in as star players.
9. The dumbest question is Briefs or Boxers because it leaves everything else out. I'm all for colored and funky underwear, boxers, boxer-briefs and whatever else comes my way.
10. A biological or physical oddity about me is the Evil Hair. I have one over-active follicle somewhere on my left ear that sprouts an evil angel hair (you know, the invisible tiny kind) every so often, something that isn't noticed until it's an inch or two long. I pluck it and fear having hairy ears like old Italian men.
11. I become excited by flossing. I prefer Oral-B Ultra Floss, mint flavored.
12. I am a neat freak in public, rather messy at home. This suggests a need to impress others as well as demonstrates manipulative tendencies, but both diagnoses overlook the obvious: I live at home, not in public.
13. One particular luxury is bedding. I like crisp, white cotton sheets. I place a bar of scented soap at the head so that's what I smell, instead of the Change the Sheets aroma. Learned that from an ex who was appalled by my sheets. You know what I mean.
14. Favorite luxury food rarely indulged in: Dryer's Dreamery, this kind.
15. Not much into jewelery, but I do have a silver chain around my neck and a watch. Used to have earrings but not since I started teaching full time. Thinking about having the ears pierced again.
Now wasn't this fun?
