10:07 p.m. - November 24, 2002
On Sunday I'm tired and am off to bed
Making good progress with the book and no longer cringe when reviewing the work. As much as I'd like to chalk up this revitalized esprit de travaille to my own desire to forge onwards, I know the deadline has much more to do with rolling up my sleeves than self-motivation. The origin doesn't matter; what matters is what I'm doing now.
I wonder if that's generally true. The thought reminds me of Catholicism, which holds that tradition may at times supersede Scripture since the church's origins predated canonization and formation of dogma, which makes a certain degree of sense if you think about it. Why the hell am I thinking about it now?
Cliches, tangents, static electricity. I'm a victim. Can I draw from the government coffers for this?
Today grandmother informed me she has some rare form of skin cancer, whose genesis was surely a hatless trip to the beach in 1970. Fortunately I'm flying up for Thanksgiving Tuesday morning and will investigate further. She mentioned surgery in December and it is likely I'll be there for her, given my sister's new job and my father's admin duties. I love her and hate to think of the day when she'll be gone. I don't want to think of that.
New topic.
I'm an office supply junkie. Went to Office Max and Staples today, buying essentials like colored binder clips, printer ink, blank CDs. I go without a need and wander the aisles the way I imagine women shop for clothes, trying out pens and feeling paper and madly thinking of reasons why I need to purchase more staplesbinderspaperclipslabelsreadingtabseditingtabsanykindoftabs. There's some element of reward in these office excursions.
I'm not ashamed of my office needs but am occasionally bewildered. Why not stereo equipment? Or music? Or working on my car? Why is my simple joy going to a damn office supply store? Okay, I admit it--it's not a simple joy; it's nearly a compulsion.
Hmmm. A connection? Maybe I'm a hoarder. That must be it: Use one paper clip, buy 100 more (multicolored vinyl-coated and regular stainless steel), lost favorite pen, replace with 10 new. Yeah, a hoarder.
Blah. Going to bed to finish the book. Twids, it's not great or good or bad; Amy Tan was a two-hit wonder.
Last thought: All day felt minor earthquakes but seems to be my imagination. Scary.
