|
12:30 a.m. - December 25, 2002 Deluded colleague was upset to see (or not see) his name ommitted from the program and I was upset to see mine included but you know what struck me? All these gay people appeared content or secure with themselves that I felt envious; my security derives from judging these people and hating myself for being one of them-yet-not but I'm the one looking in at the party from outside, unsure of whether I belong or want to belong and where to go to next. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions or in making promises to myself that I know I won't keep, but I want to be in a better mindset this time next year. Merry Christmas.
|