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8:59 p.m. - February 24, 2004
I am at a loss.

Chris enjoyed getting to know me. I am funny and smart, sweet and genuine. But we can't go anywhere, really.

Why's that?

Because he has certain expectations when it comes to someone's appearance. And I don't make the cut off.

I am that ugly. I am an ugly gay man. I don't understand. I thought insides count, too. A fantasy, that, one of the remaining bits of carry over from my straight life.

I feel like I can't breathe.


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