11:54 a.m. - March 28, 2004
Moving on: Going out to lunch with A[deleted]a in a couple minutes.
You know what I find myself liking more and more? When people come up to me - specifically referring to church, here - and ask where I've been, how are things, when will the book be out. I can goof around with Dane, have earnest discussions over using the word shit in church with Kim, and look around to see people I've known for years. Before, I felt uncomfortable forging relationships with (numerous) people but I'm getting the hang of it, at least this week. Nothing bad happens when people get to know me; it is a concept I've never trusted before and which now seems pleasurable if not absolutely necessary. Maybe, if my teens were about quiet rebellion and sneaking girls into my room, and my 20s about adjustment and discovery (I don't like the way that sounds), perhaps my 30s (quickly approaching) will be about finding comfort. I'd like that. I'd like friends with whom I'm open and feel safe with them knowing the real Jason. I'd like that very much.