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1:21 p.m. - April 04, 2004
I have a chip on my shoulder. Wanna guess?
Brought Ryan II to church with me and set off all the gaydar alarms. The two guys I suspect of being gay were in attendance and no sooner did Ryan and I set foot inside than they came up to us and did the samll-talk routine. Introduced Ryan II as a good friend and both of them looked at us with uh huh in their eyes. I felt awkward and uncomfortable and momentarily wished for some eau de straight to throw them off. I know they're gay; I hear them singing behind me every Sunday and straight men don't sing like they do. So do they, did they, suspect I'm one also? And if so, why wait until Ryan II was with me to close the deal so to speak?

I suspect it's because Ryan II's good-looking. Fleas to a dog. Oops. Bees to a flower. Whatever. I'm jaded right now being the Ugly One who doesn't warrant a get-to-know-you until paired with Someone Who Counts. If someone hadn't already written the book How to Date Above Your League that would be my next research interest. So all this time - and this has been my church for years - I've been invisible, right, and then as we're chatting after church they're both insistent on phone numbers or email, about going out to lunch. I wasn't particularly forthcoming about my contact info (quelle surprise, oui?) and they mentioned the church directory; Ryan II said it was just a mailbox and that I live on _____ and one - names would be good here, eh? - doesn't live too far away. Right around the corner, one block down. No plans made and Ryan II's not coming back with me in the near future. It's decided.

I would like to know some gay Christians who share my theological background and convictions. I'm hesitant to be excited over this because what if they're at church just for the singing or the food?


The driveway looks nice, finishing touches come tomorrow. Plumbing restored. Excellent reason not to allow people to park on the driveway. All is well.


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