7:48 a.m. - October 30, 2004
I'm not really interested in young, shorter-than-I flamboyant guys but the attention felt kind of nice. I like it when someone compliments my eyes.
The date went quickly. No offense to Oz or Flood, but theatre types aren't for me. When my date made a quick I-don't-know-what-to-call-this-movement that was similar to a pirouette but not quite in response to my question of what his rehearsal was for, I could see immediately things were headed downhill. Nice guy but simply too much for me.
Tonight is with Jon again and he's invited me to sleep over. Not ready for that yet and I suspect he's losing patience and doesn't like being rebuffed. I dislike thinking I'm a tease but that's what I do: I kiss a little, give head a little, draw back and say it's time for me to get going. I just don't want to be touched and he's respectful of that, tells me where he's going to put his hands before he does so, but it's far more complicated than that. I'm inclined to stop going out with him than briefly explain that sometimes intimacy is good but mostly it isn't.
He's a nice guy and would probably understand, but I know how it goes when I panic.
I'm off. It is cold and wet out and the day beckons. I'm going for a hike. Err... walk, rather, in the canyon.