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7:08 a.m. - November 19, 2004
Scratch Las Vegas; might be flying to Baltimore today. Barbara-the-Editor called and there is a big problem: 237 illustrations aren't accounted for and I'm the only one who knows what goes where.

I feel awful - Shannon's wedding is Saturday and I'm not able to go. Should I call her today, the day before? After? They aren't immediately leaving for their honeymoon and will stay in Las Vegas to celebrate Thanksgiving with her family. Yesterday I became so frustrated I cried a little because I want to go so badly - and you know why? Because there are so few people who want me to be anywhere and I was thrilled to feel that my closeness with Shannon is reciprocal.

I feel like shit for the wedding and while the panic has receded about the illustrations, I have to take care of that. Barbara-the-Editor said a while ago that a one-day delay translates into a week's delay the book is not in the hands of all those people who've paid for it.

No road trip and I am disappointed. No wedding, and I'm hurt. How will she feel? God, this sucks.


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