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8:44 a.m. - February 20, 2005
I laugh for no reason this morning
A break in the rain; last night the city dropped off sandbags in a large pile at the entrance of the cul-de-sac without leaving instructions. I will sit back and observe my neighbors before lugging them around - where exactly should they go? The drop-off made me wonder whether the city knows more about the state of the hills immediately to my side than they're letting on. Wouldn't that be an adventure, a jarring wake-up and suffocation by mud? I like the rain, though it's beaten the daffodils and lilies sideways and inspired a colony of snails to take residence on the raised step of my entryway. I don't have the heart to toss them away.

Alex called at 2:30 this morning and we spoke until 5 and when I asked him why he was calling so damn early he merely said because he knew I'd be awake or would answer the phone. His boyfriend / partner revealed he is in a concurrent relationship with another man. One would think Alex knows me well enough to be certain these types of betrayals - err, developments - aren't the most suitable conversation topics but I listened and tried to keep an open mind. Just because I don't personally know any monogamous gay men does not mean the trait has been genetically outbred. So I listened to him cry some and was supportive the best I could.

I'd like to think I have enough insulation to not be bothered by this kind of stuff, but I am. Why do people have to be so damn selfish, so locked into here-and-now-gratification?

Reminds me I haven't heard from Joel in a while; busy with his loft, or my function was terminated. Interesting thought.

Responded to the invitation to read some poetry and participate in a class discussion or, better yet, conduct a writershop for poetry. Um, teacher-lady, I'm just a guy who has a few pieces in the anthology, not somebody who knows what he's doing and can articulate the craft. Rank amateur who once wrote a good deal and published all over but who now can't find his way out of a hole.


How the tapestry threads converge when one isn't looking: Katona recommended me for the English position and as department chair (she claims) she has a good deal of say in the matter. Teaching college again wouldn't be such a bad move, though I'd be rejoining the ranks of freeway professors going from one school to the next. That's not the case - this position is 60%-time, at one location. I can handle that. I would like to handle that. I think it's time to go back to teaching.


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