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3:26 p.m. - October 03, 2005
Come out come out come out wherever you are
To rephrase, this is how the world ends, not in a blink or a flash or a piercing shriek but in a silent shift from the old into the new, the way I imagine a blind person would open his eyes one day and see.

I came out to my sister.

I do not feel a relief but am defensive, want to make clear: I am still attracted to women. I reject the labels and do what I want to do, simple as that. I am not like them.

Why didn't A3 tell me the early morning he slipped out that my sister waited for him to exit the driveway so she could park? And why didn't my sister ask who was that man? I know the answer already - she knew, in her gut. A fait accompli, the coda.

This is the clincher: She took her suspicions to my brother. To my father. And they, speaking through my sister, approve and will be supportive. This angers me tremendously in light of her other comment: You don't have to say you're Christian and a Republican anymore, you can show us the real you.

Infuriating, demeaning, and belittling.

This was not a good experience and I want to cling to those defenses, will not give them up. Disappointing, in a way.


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