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10:28 p.m. - July 02, 2004
A break
A twinge of irony, or a sweet vapor. Cannot download a copy of this journal - technical difficulties - that is a stranger to me. Quickly I remove myself from people but here's a secret: I treasure those interactions brief and long because their fleeting nature is a salt scrub both pleasurable and unbearable. Remove myself from the journal and voila, I've moved on and nobody can notice how I walk backwards, reluctant to take my eyes off what often served as a refuge. Likely even that technical difficulties are small miracles.

Things I have not written about, not in chronological order:

1) I did something terrible at the football camp.

2) The football camp.

3) Spec is in town and we had lunch today.

4) I praise God for the summer I'm having, even if I'm embarrassed by my thimble-full faith.

5) My grandmother had a minor heart attack and I don't want to think about it.

6) I rode on the back of Ryan II's new motorcycle, a First Time.

7) Since talking to Dana I feel I've grown up, at long last. And then feel the same small me immediately later.


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