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11:57 a.m. - January 15, 2004
Now that shortly I'll click done! I'll have nothing else to do
Jolted awake this morning certain something had skittered across my chest as I was covered with goosebumps and the willies, turned towards the opposite direction and in the dark the pillow was like a body and it was time to get up. Felt foolish once the lights were on but Iíve always held what comes in the dark is never a good thing so donít press your luck.

When I write things like that I feel thoroughly stupid and immature to admit being (occasionally) afraid of the dark. At the end of this lifetime, perhaps Iíll have chanced upon something for which I donít feel stupid or immature.

Off to work and it is a last-minute cancellation so I have a paid day off to do anything at all, and I go home after chatting a bit with an acquaintance who often accuses me of being a (straight) homophobe because I donít favor gay marriage. Either I wanted to linger around people or I like talking with him; the jury is out.

And now I am home listening to loud classical music and wondering what to do. There is nothing to be cleaned or washed or written because I did all that last night. I am desperate to occupy my time, put the brain on autopilot, one foot in front of the other, does it matter where I go as long as Iím doing something?

If I had a tail I would chase it.


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