11:41 p.m. - September 03, 2003
Another chapter, another black heart
Finished another chapter tonight and a minor goal for this book is to complete work during daylight hours just to see what it is like.
Barbara-the-Editor should be pleased, though the pessimist says it's unlikely since I'm 4 months behind schedule already.
Tomorrow I'm assigned to an AIDS clinic. It's unpleasant to tell people they're doomed. I'm there for 7 hours; I wonder how many disappointments will fill the room by the time I leave.
Dr. Indy left a message and though I know it's good for me, I'm not - the natural completion of that thought is not going back to the group but I'm undecided. Sure it's great to discuss childhood bogeymen in the guise of neighbors, uncles, fathers, a teacher, but my issue - I'm goddamn fucking frigid - is the antithesis to the rest who are learning sex does not equal intimacy and it's okay to be less driven sexually. Yeah, I know. I'm jealous, profoundly so and I'm bitter and my heart is black.
