7:22 a.m. - May 12, 2003
So today I must create the presentations in powerpoint this time (audience feedback from Indianapolis suggested trying to wet my feet on 20th century technological aids and always the sycophant, I try my best) though Iím not going to try too hard. Just enough to come across as a don, thoroughly authoritative, and completely mesmerizing. Small grin permitted. Must also ideate brotherís graduation present and Iím tempted to tally what Iíve spent for his tuition, rent, incidentals and late-night pleas for cash, frame the number, and frame it, but that strikes me in poor taste and poorer humor since I donít begrudge him being a leech. Another small grin permitted.
Last night had difficulty sleeping and decided to buzz cut my hair. It is short and I like it and best of all, the haircut was free. And then I looked down and had an idea Ė not that I shave my head while nude, but simply one of those male-recognition moments, the ones that inspire peanut butter on pizza and you wonder where the hell that idea originated Ė and I recalled my pubes were further along the untamed jungle side of maintained than suburban-lawn sculpted. End result? Even with the extension to make sure I didnít trim too close, I trimmed too close and my pubes look like they have a five oíclock shadow. I feel like a poorly-shaved cat and you know how nasty those look. So that is this weekís secret revealed here to you. Oh, and the best part? My balls were itching so I put on the cocoa butter lotion I use and damn! did that feel goooood! As the Good Bard said, Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting. I think thatís from Henry . . . anybody know for sure?
Be good today and sign my guestbook or better yet, the guestmap.
Later (9:23 a.m.) Damn, these balls itch. I'm having to do my tasks one-handed. What a day this is turning into. Reprise: Sign the guestbook and guestmap, eh?