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6:51 p.m. - August 11, 2007
I am Murphy's Default Button
Murphy's Law #101:

Decide to go ahead with the purchase of my birthday present to myself - a week in Paris, travel not in economy class, stay at a fancy-for-me hotel. Who cares that it's a lot of money; who cares that Paris in November isn't the most weatherpleasant place to be; who cares I'll not be able to share the trip with someone. In other words I had to check my crotch to find those balls of mine I forgot I had and get on with the damn plan.

So I finish the details - November 2-11, 2007, non-stops from San Francisco to Charles de Gaulle, and hit enter. I do a mini version of the happy dance.

Mini because my debit card was declined. WTF??? Redo previous steps and again am declined. Call up Washington Mutual and say WTF and am told there's been suspicious activity on my card and it's been closed.

Is this Murphy's Law or not? Someone's laughing and it's not me. I'm not pissed because some juvenile yahoos somehow ended up with my digits and purchased $109.00 from or $4.99 from or $19.95 from or attempted to purchase $499.02 in stereo equipment from Best Buy. I'm not pissed that my secure little world has been rocked a bit. I'm not pissed that this is a distinct result (somehow) of being careless with money lately. I'm pissed that that decisive moment where I was going to go fizzled into nothing. THAT pisses me off.

And another thing that pissed me off today - you know those little secure padlock graphics you're supposed to look for to ensure the website with whom you're doing business is legit and your info is safe? Well it's not - the investigator handling my case said that's the biggest myth out there. And even if you confine your shopping to trusted big-name retailers your info can be grabbed quite easily. Sucks.

So here's some new-found advice: Don't do internet porn, or don't do it on a credit card. And never ever ever do it as a direct subscription from a checking or savings account. Ahem. I'm not a huge porn guy (okay, fine: here's where my porn money goes) but damn do I feel dirty after the investigator pointed out my monthly subscription. This always-too-horny-for-his-own-good man just can't catch a break - not getting any in vivo, and not even in Tivo. Ha! I really need to get out more...

And the worst rub of closed accounts is this: When I'm in town on a Saturday evening, I always get take-out Chinese. Not tonight. Fuckers.


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