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9:29 a.m. - March 28, 2003
To Do: Keep busy, don't think, don't be unhappy, don't be friendly and open
It is a glorious Friday morning and I've been up since 4:30 cleaning house with the doors and windows open and an off-the-bay breeze that smells like grass is making doors slam all over the house.

I had a rough night.

On today's To Do list:

1. Complete installation of shelving in laundry room (a project interrupted over a month ago);

2. Begin work on the presentations I give in Indianapolis in . . . less than two weeks;

3. De-choke the buttercups in the backyard - they're coming up all over the place - while listening to Mozart. Yeah, that'd be nice;

4. Buy paint for the bathroom, something blue;

5. Wash vehicle;

6. Find other things to occupy my time. Lots of things.


I feel like I'm drowning in all this fresh air but it is good to resist the impulse to shut down, though I'm doing plenty of that as it is.

I don't want to go to the Indianapolis conference, I don't want to present and be happy and scholarly and work to impress and stand in front of people who either oooh and ahhh or don't and I'll wonder why they didn't, how I failed to awe. Hyperbolic yet true. I know I won't present well.

To take my mind off things I launch into hyperdrive - hyperdrive? what the fuck? eh, maybe it fits - and jump into Busy Busy Busy. I'm already running out of things to do and it's 9:45 a.m. A long day and night ahead.



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