5:20 a.m. - February 16, 2003
It's not light out yet
Couldn't - wouldn't - sleep last night and I've been working on the book waiting for the rain to stop so I can take a walk. I want to get out of here and breathe and I am irritated at Spec, wondering when I invited him to stay, and at myself for lacking a backbone.
I am really tired and I don't even feel like flossing.
Later, 7:36
Back from a walk and I'm half wet, warm, and horny and I'm soon to capitalize on the benefits of having a hot guy asleep in my bed. I wants me some morning sex!
Later, 11: 03
Despite the macho top he likes to think he is, he does like being a bottom and this morning was one of those days.
Isn't this how it's supposed to be, two guys having a good time and wanting to be close and feeling that connection? Okay, so maybe not two guys - but the point is intact. I woke him up and didn't (outwardly) mind the morning breath and it was long and gentle and that post-coital illusion is working because I feel warm and fuzzy and close to him and this is the way it should be, when we're not baiting each other. I'm trying and he's trying so let's hope we don't give up. I think he made the connection that the closer I feel to him - read, the less he hits me and puts me down - the more I'm into sex with him. A no-brainer but what do you expect from a guy who turns over and goes back to sleep? I'm horny again - must be some kind of torturous time of the month - or I'm happy. Hard to tell which is which.
