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8:11 a.m. - August 27, 2003
The tax collector seizeth and I'm caught off guard
Things to Believe:

-When someone says You're cute don't assume you will be taken advantage of.

-Being smart is not shameful.

-A compliment is not an attack.

-It is okay to show a friend your weak spots.

-Safety is not being solo; it is being surrounded by people who will not hurt you.


Trouble on the horizon and I feel nauseous. This morning Carolyn from the agency called to let me know they had received an order from the IRS to withold my income - otherwise known as garnishing - for an amount close to $10,000. As in ten thousand dollars. I thought she was joking at first but she was not and she said the agency would put it off as long as possible, to give me time to sort things out. I'm shocked; wouldn't I receive some sort of official notification or a We're Going to Do This Unless You ______ declaration of intent?

Carolyn sent me a copy of the IRS letter so I can know what's going on. I've never been in trouble like this ever before and the only link I can think of is that last spring I had to fork over $234.13 to the IRS for "underpayment." I will not freak out yet, I will not freak out. I can tell this to myself repeatedly and the queasy knot in my stomach will not abate, though I hope I can mitigate it.

The very sorry, sad thing is that I have enough in savings to write a check for ten thousand dollars and the thought makes me cringe, infuriates me that my savings will be decimated. Ah, what did I do wrong?

Far more than spending money and unintelligent people, I hate not knowing what's going on. I feel utterly stupid.

I'm scared.


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