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9:44 p.m. - September 02, 2003
A terminal terminus or a terminus terminal?
Aleta, there's no need to explain things to Eli. I am too slow to open up, I am cold, I have too many inhibitions. He is patient and thinks I'm cute and funny, loves to make me laugh and squirm, finds my quietness appealing. Admires my intelligence and drive, my take-care-of-myselfness, the always-willing ear for your problems.

He does not admire how I do not open up emotionally or sexually. He was really nice about it, but Eli has gone.

Another lesson learned: I may think I'm making progress and invite risk and enjoy the sights zipping by, but I'm alone on this highway because everybody else has learned how to fly and I'm still running on foot.

Terminus ad quem.


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