Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

8:58 p.m. - July 19, 2003
The Carpenters song, something about being on top of the world, is an apt apostrophe
Back from Virginia and my presentation was, all modesty aside, orphic. Hours later, I've yet to find the tiniest error, the most inconsequential detail overlooked, a reason to say I didn't succeed or do well. I did well and I'm glad in that relieved sense, not because it's done but because I'm reminded that despite my misgivings and fears and doomsday prescience, I can and do kick ass.

Now, if only I can translate that to my social life.

Socially awkward. That's me. After the presentation one teacher had 1,001 questions and thankfully they were thought-provoking instead of the usual run-down I get after my lectures and workshops, questions like Why are adolescents so antsy and Where can I find a book on this that I despise because they reflect insipidness and a I-want-to-be-spoonfed-mentality. This teacher inquired into developing separate rubrics for male and female students to reflect gender-influenced learning differences and outcomes (is this legal, he wonders) and we talked through lunch and again after my presentation and I was tempted to say You want to get a beer? but didn't, uncomfortable with how to go about doing something like that. Yes, yes, just say it, right? So the thought that occupied my mind on the drive was, how do two gay men inform the other that they're gay, especially when one may be slightly unsure yet sure?

Please, can't it simply be a matter of a code word?

Sigh. He was cute and he made me blush and I liked that.


previous - next


about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!