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2:59 p.m. - January 03, 2003
Is it because I am considered talented that my services are requested by each party in a high-profile, complicated, messy divorce and a comment on how my skills are viewed by those I once admired, or is it more a matter of each striving for damage control
A couple I've known and admired since I was a child and who were role models not only for myself are divorcing, big news in a small community where everybody can literally know everybody else. I find myself in a quandary both professional and personal and I'm prohibited from discussing the matter using names with the agency, so I'm not sure what to do. There are things I don't want to know, didn't want to know, and wouldn't want to know about each that I've learned by doing my job, and now I'm not in the middle but rather on both sides. How did I get into this? Mr. and Mrs. X are Deaf; she filed for divorce and requested my services here and there I was privy to Mrs. X's perspective. Yesterday, Mr. X's primary counsel requested my services (via the agency) as he works with his (team of) lawyers, and today I became privy to Mr. X's perspective. Some awful allegations, pretty serious, and frankly I'm shocked and disgusted but like any impartial, privy person, I suck it up and play the role of non-descript well. Neither X, as of now, realize I'm both His and Hers.

A quandary because legally, I'm in no-man's land. Technically, I'm vouchsafed under cloak of privilege but for both parties? Ethically this is a gray area and it behooves me to recuse myself but doing so would be injurious to each person's claim because I would have to state explicitly to the lawyers why I'm requesting recusation and theoretically could jeopardize each X's claims. The worst part of it is that if I am recused I could be compelled to testify since the cloak of privilege would be terminated; so do I stay or go? The agency is unsure, I'm unsure and feel awkward. I'm trying to figure this one out and will have to consult with an impartial lawyer; if I had known I would be with Mr. X today I would have been obligated to refuse but in (sticky) legal cases names cannot be divulged and imagine my shock? surprise? unease? when Mr. X walked in; antecedent to Mr. X is that the agency for whom I work would not know I had also worked with Mrs. X because again, cloak of privilege and I cannot say Yeah, I worked with her there; as to the origin of being His and Her towel is that Mr. X requested my services via his lawyer and so the agency had no knowledge of the actual intended client and even if so, would not foresee a conflict of interest because the agency wouldn't know I worked with Mrs. X because they don't know who I see and whom I work for in that capacity, also under cloak of confidentiality. So everybody is in the dark but me and there are potential legal ramifications - and I don't know what to do.

I need a quick way out through which neither realizes I was party to the party, my professional reputation isn't muddied, and my impartiality unquestioned. Professionally, I need to get my ass out from under the X's without harming either.

Some days I hate my job.


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