5:50 p.m. - September 15, 2003
A shocker: I offered to cook for him. Yes, I know, what the hell was I thinking? Something is very wrong with this picture; not only have I invited him over and am cooking spaghetti, I'm also making raspberry scones, because they're his favorite. [editor's note: I can make scones and hopefully I'll get a bonus point because the raspberries are fresh from the freezer - good thing I plan ahead!] Ryan's going to be here at 6:30 and I'm nervous, my stomach won't stay still and I'm wishing I had listened to Dana's advice and bought those mats you put under plates. Bad nervous. Shaky-hand nervous.
And if he asks, I'll even let him use the bathroom. I feel so damn shy, just thinking about showing him around my house. Will he think I'm a bigger nerd than he surely does already when he sees all my books? Will he wonder whether I'm weird because I have such little furniture? What will I say were he to ask about the closets? Would it be too cheesy to light candles? I feel so stupid not knowing all the answers, because I have such little experience at this, because it makes me too excited.