11:06 a.m. - November 21, 2002
Itch scratch itchy non-bar scene
Sister's boyfriend asks why I don't date and I squelch the desire to ask him why he does the comb-over-let's-hide-my-balding-pate-technique that doesn't work to illustrate the answer: Outright fear of rejection. Appearances being important, I laugh and say (a) there's no time for that or (b) I'm uninterested in stretched-out used goods.
Startling perhaps, but I'm not the guy who glides your way with a beer in hand and says Hey baby You're so hot You got a boyfriend husband man if so doesn't matter cuz I got all the right moves You here alone Man! You're hot Check out my gold tooth see it glint in the light Let's dance Ooh yeah Shake that ass. No, I'm the one who fades into the background, provided I show up at all.
So the bar scene with its cheap expectations, lines, and morning after regrets/notch in the belt isn't for me. Neither is taking a class just because some beautiful woman was seen entering the door. Or saying Yes these vegetables look great don't they at the grocery store. Or Don't I know you from somewhere or the variations on a played-out theme.
If it is a type, I'm the one who prefers to know someone well before I date. In other words, I'm chicken shit to ask until I'm certain there's a yes. I recall one friend in college saying I was oblivious to the interest of women and then as well as now, I don't see what I'm missing. It's likely the volume of interest has declined beyond radar detection but that is acceptable.
Heh. I'm lame. Shy, I guess. Insecure. Small-talk non-existent. Thinking back, I'm wondering how it is I've ever had girlfriends at all. I think the brooding loner in black had something to do with it but those days are long gone. Well, not really, eh?
Confirmed rental car for Thanksgiving and let us hope the weather is crisp, the air smokey, my grandmother's rolls hot. Even with a discount the amount is ungodly and I feel uneasy at spending so much for four wheels and an engine. Must put good use to vehicle and that I can do.
I'm off.
Get to play with the seismographs here.
I love this job.
